I only ever met one of my grandparents. I have memories of Mama Rae, my dad’s mom, making us delicious Jewish food down in Savannah (hey, it’s possible), and of my dad breaking her ceiling while trying to fix something in her attic (he was never very handy). Sadly, the others all died long before I had the chance to eat their cooking or break their ceilings. Maybe that’s why I have a special fondness for seeing my sons with their grandparents. We recently had a chance to do some serious intergenerational bonding because Turk and Barbara Despard, Allison’s parents, came to Shanghai to stay with us for three weeks. Kai and Keegan absolutely reveled in Grammy and Poppy’s adoration, and it was good to have two completely independent outside evaluators come in and confirm our suspicions that our sons are gorgeous, brilliant, and adorable.
Turk and Barbara got here in time for our big Easter egg hunt, a great opportunity to shmooze with our friends and neighbors, and watch Kai, Keegan, and half the neighborhood take off on a sugar high, fueled by the full suitcase-loads of American (i.e. “safe”) candy carried into China by our mules, Turk and Barbara. We had a little photo shoot with the boys in the backyard, after they recovered from their binge. Grammy and Poppy did a wonderful job of fitting into our routines with the boys, like bedtime reading, and they developed some of their own, like the straight-up bribery that all grandparents are entitled to by divine right -- daily presents. That’s right, Presents. Every. Day. One of these was the inflatable pool complete with slide they very kindly lugged with them from the U.S. which is still getting very regular workouts from the boys, and looks like it will be a huge boon through the summertime. They also brought us baseball equipment -- bats, balls, gloves, and a tee -- (God bless you, Turk and Barbara!), and I had the pleasure of getting Kai and Keegan up to the plate for the first time. Kai spent the next two days saying “I’m the batter, Daddy!” They are likely to be drafted in the early rounds in roughly 2025.
I’ve often said, if you judge by the number of people snapping pics of them wherever we go, Kai and Keegan are some of the leading tourist attractions in China. For their grandparents, though, this is the literal truth. They did take short day trips to Suzhou and Hangzhou, two places it would be criminal to skip (an old Chinese expression has it that “In Heaven there is paradise, on Earth there are Suzhou and Hangzhou") but aside from those brief detours, Grammy and Poppy were all about the boys. For instance, when we hit the Shanghai Science and Technology Museum (one of our regular stops but not exactly a magnet for tourists), Grammy came along, and when Grammy and Poppy visited the Shanghai Museum, probably China's most prestigious, Kai and Keegan joined them, despite the total lack of climbable art. We did get them to go on one overnight adventure by bringing the kids along -- all six of us drove three hours outside of town into the highlands of Moganshan, which is where Shanghai’s elites used to escape the heat back in “the day” (that would be the 20’s and 30’s). It’s Shanghai’s rough equivilent of the Hamptons (or is it the Catskills?). We stayed in a stylishly rustic bungalow (that word choice is especially for Peter Guida of Bethesda Bungalows, call today for low rates!) at a place called Naked Retreats. Our driver Wang asked nervously if we’d really be naked, but no, they’re just trying to get some cred with the green crowd. Highlights were hiking in the fabulous bamboo hills, chatting up the locals picking tea, just hanging out at our cabin in the woods and climbing the 17,000 stone steps, and best of all, going fishing with Poppy. The boys loved it; they’re still playing “fishing” with wooden sticks on the rug upstairs. I’m pretty sure the last time I went fishing I was wearing a Webelos badge, but my skills are still razor-sharp -- I landed one monster that weighed in at nearly an ounce. (Don’t worry, we put them all back.)
The lowlight of the trip was the spill Keegan took when he got out of the car and tried to run down a hill fast, before we could grab him. The poor little guy scraped his nose, and he looked like he lost a bar fight. Amazingly, after the first few minutes, it didn’t seem to bother him. And now, after a couple of weeks, he’s alllllmost done looking like W.C. Fields. So if you notice it in the photos, that’s our story and we’re sticking to it. Fortunately, before that happened, Allison had the foresight to do a glamorous Green Valley Photo Shoot with Grammy, Poppy, Kai and Keegan -- pshwew! Glad we got that in before the nosedive. When we got home from Moganshan after another three hours in the car, the boys wanted to hit the kiddie pool again -- I got in with them, and the photos and video may be used as the “before” pictures in a series of weight-loss ads in the near future.
We went out for some great dinners with Turk and Barbara after the boys were down for the night, with the ayi as babysitter; shortly before they went home, we all treated ourselves to Mr.and Mrs. Bund, a high-end French Restaurant on, where else, the Bund -- Shanghai’s best place to be fabulous. Turk and Barbara loved the balcony over the Huangpu River, with its view of the hallucinatory Shanghai skyline.
Grammy and Poppy are back in the USA now, recovering from their adventures; Kai and Keegan miss them and talk about them, wondering where they've disappeared to, and not always understanding why they don't just pop over for a snack, or to deliver More. Daily. Presents. (Kai did tell me yesterday, though, that he used to eat strawberries when "we lived in a different world, but now we live in this Shanghai world." How right you are, son. So, maybe he does understand.) But their visit is indelibly carved in all of our memories, and we'll be reciprocating this summer with a trip to their new home near the ocean in Delaware (or as I like to call it, Delawhere?). We look forward to seeing you, Grammy and Poppy...
Lots more to say -- I want to post again soon about the adventures of HuaHua, the dog who came and went and came back, sort of. And about the crazy diet we're trying, and Shanghai subway, and the Dinosaur Train that Allison made, and and and ... but that will have to wait a bit. I need to get this baby out there. Monthly blogs are the absolute minimum, I think. You can't have a quarterly blog. That's not a blog, that's a newsletter.
Congratulations to my erstwhile students and colleagues who are wrapping up the school year, and especially those who are graduating. I think of you, and hope you are well. Sending love from Shanghai...
